“Ted,” the dirty-talking-teddy-bear hit of 2012, was packed with a sufficient number of outrageous belly laughs that it was easy to let pass the fact that there wasn’t much of a movie underneath those laughs. Or, as I put it when I reviewed the first picture for another website, with such enthusiasm that I actually gave it three-and-a-half stars (I’d adjust that to an even three if I could turn back time), “it really is not quite so different than that of a standard romantic comedy in which a stand-up but somewhat immature guy has to fight off his lesser angels, largely embodied in a slackerish best-friend character, so as to become The Man (and Husband) he was Meant To Be.” “Man” being Mark Wahlberg’s John; “slackerish best friend” being the dirty-talking teddy bear, Ted, and eventual bride of man being Mila Kunis, who as it turned out showed plenty of good sense in not coming back for the sequel.
With John now divorced and porn-addicted, it’s up to exceptionally vulgar Ted to take up the storyline slack. “Ted 2” begins with the bear, who could use a wash beyond soaping up his mouth, marrying former-good-time hottie Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth) at a wedding officiated by Sam Jones of “Flash Gordon” fame. (There’s a lot of recycling from the first film here.) Soon their domestic bliss goes south, and the couple enact a quasi-parody of the “Raging Bull” “you bother me about a steak” scene, which is rather queasily unfunny because the De Niro part is being played by a stuffed teddy bear rather than in spite of it.
Oh and then there’s the out of place “break into song” moments. We get it Seth, you love and have a talent for music, but it does not belong in this film. The musical breaks were annoying in the first film and they definitely don’t do Ted 2 justice. I like musicals too but if there’s a Ted 3 please just get to the story and comedy rather than making us sit through another musical number. Please!
If you’re looking for a film that will make you laugh no matter the cost of that laugh, then I’ll be honest, you’ll probably leave Ted 2 with a smile on your face. But if you’re looking for a clever build up of comedy then those moments are few and far between in this film. While I was one of those that left with a smile on my face, I admit that I could have waited to see this film on a Redbox release.